


Username: xNotYourJoyx

by tbvwritings



Category: Red Velvet (K-pop Band)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-12
Updated: 2021-01-27
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:54:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25860913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tbvwritings/pseuds/tbvwritings
Relationships: Bae Joohyun | Irene/Park Sooyoung | Joy, Bae Joohyun | Irene/Son Seungwan | Wendy, Park Sooyoung | Joy/Son Seungwan | Wendy
Comments: 12
Kudos: 59





	1. Ch. I

It was only a suggestion. A quick mention, really. “There’s this site, Seungwan,” is how it started. Except for that brief conversation spiraled rapidly into a whirlwind of curiosity and excitement. Perhaps, discussing the lack of sex life and the frustration that comes with that whilst you’re supposed to be busy working on the latest financial development wasn’t the smartest move, and yet, the conversation ended in a better resolution than she imagined when Joohyun had managed to pry the information out of her about why she’s been so on edge lately. 

On edge being both literal and metaphorical. Getting to the high is easy, however, toppling over into the rush of being able to feel the full experience of pleasure has been evading her for the last few weeks now. Nothing seems to do the trick and though you may think it’d be fun to simply keep trying, it’s starting to become an issue with the more extreme methods she attempts. So, it desperately needs to be fixed, just not in front of all of her colleagues who are idly typing away the dull workday. 

The rest of the day drags along. Nothing particularly interesting happens which Seungwan is grateful for, she could do without the extra stress. Though, she’s sure the new sponsorship to promote a dead-end product that everyone had warned their boss about will cause a headache in the future, she ignores the nagging feeling in the back of her mind. Joohyun was kind enough to buy dinner for the both of them which her stomach is currently grateful for as she’s certain her fridge at home is empty. But, watching her friend and colleague suckle on the ice cream bar she purchased for herself should not have resulted in her needing to press her legs together on instinct. 

Joohyun didn’t notice, or if she did, she didn’t say anything and continued to lap her tongue across the cold strawberry flavored ice cream. Probably for the best. Nothing good ever comes from getting too involved with people you have to work alongside every day, even if that person does look like Aphrodite herself. The awkward looks between you both, everyone else knowing that the two of you have slept together but are now deciding on which color scheme to use for an advertisement, it just isn’t something that Seungwan wants to deal with. So, she and Joohyun will have to remain platonic. Unfortunately.

It’s late by the time she gets home. The hallway lights leading up to the apartment door flicker every few seconds and the apartment across the hall has the television turned up loud enough that Seungwan is sure they’re trying to let those in hell hear the latest episode of whichever show they’re currently watching. The keys in her hand rattle as she unlocks the stiff door that barely wants to open anymore. The loudness doesn’t disappear once she closes it behind her but it’s home and somewhere she can erase the feeling of being stuck, in more ways than one. 

The latest routine of ordering in unhealthy food that is slowly destroying her insides, a cold shower to wash away some of the exhaustion, and then listening to the same songs for about an hour feels almost robotic but it’s what she’s grown used to now. Once the darkness begins to creep in across the apartment, cold air making the hairs on her arm stand to attention and the neighbors suddenly growing quiet, it’s the small bed in the corner of the room that calls out and the only thing echoing inside her head. 

Well, it would be, had she not suddenly recalled Joohyun’s description of a site where many people frolic and entertain those who perhaps need a little extra help with their more sinful needs. She moves on auto-pilot toward the jacket hanging on the coat rack and reaches into the left side pocket for the small piece of paper where only the web address is scrawled upon it in Joohyun’s perfect handwriting. The laptop she bought years before and barely runs anymore rests on the dining table she never sits at, closed, and with a line of dust taking up home upon it. Grabbing it, she plops herself down onto the bed after removing her dressing gown and the towel around her hair which has long since dried and throwing it into a corner of the room to be cleaned up tomorrow. 

Her fingers trace the keyboard idly, never pressing in a single key, simply going back and forth over the letters whilst her brain tries to decipher if this is something she wants to try out. 

“Fuck it.” She thinks. Soon enough, the site is loading, slowly, and asking for her to confirm she is of legal age to enter it. 

The screen finally loads and brings up a bunch of profiles under the “popular” banner. To say that the sight of all the various people before her is overwhelming would be an understatement. A sidebar reveals that she can choose a category as well as filter out specific things that are not of her interest. Some of the categories are the standard you would expect, for example, she immediately filters to only see profiles of women. However, others are a little more out there and specific toward what Seungwan assumes are people’s fetishes. A lot of them are things that she would never consider a person could find interesting sexually, and yet, the option is right before her. She ignores the curious voice inside of her head telling her to click on some of them. 

A screen full of women now presents itself in front of her. All of them are beautiful and there’s a whole variety to choose from. The profile pictures range from selfies where they’re simply smiling to some of them being without clothing whatsoever. She scrolls for quite some time simply admiring all of the choices before her until one, in particular, captures her attention. 

Wide dark eyes with hair of the same shade of brown, plump lips that are sporting a small smirk that’s both enticing and teasing. Part of the girl’s neck is on display for Seungwan to imagine herself kissing and biting softly. Without hesitation, she hovers over the username and clicks onto the profile. 

“xNotYourJoyx” she repeats mentally a few times. 

The next page reveals a sign-up box that doesn’t allow Seungwan to venture any further. She’s quick to type in her email address, a username not as clever as she would like and the same password she uses for everything else. The next step is to add her bank details in order to be able to subscribe to various pages. She hesitates at this portion realizing that it’s probably very easy for people to fall too far down this rabbit hole. Thus she promises herself not to subscribe to anything until she’s 100% sure. 

After completing her profile, she’s brought back to the girl she assumes is named Joy or at least uses that name here. Her subscription rate is the first thing to appear. Her price is low Seungwan thinks, around $10 when she was expecting something far higher based on the type of content Joohyun had told her the people on the site create. The next part is an Amazon wishlist with various items in it ranging from hair extensions, expensive perfume, and medical equipment? She must be a nurse, Seungwan thinks. 

Further down the page reveals a VIP service which is more expensive than the standard subscription but allows for you to request specific pictures or videos. There are rules that come along with it which Seungwan reads multiple times over. 

  1. Don’t ask me to say or tell you anything personal about me, we are not friends. You don’t know me like that. 
  2. No, you can’t have my Instagram or any other social media so don’t ask. 
  3. Don’t be a dick. 
  4. My amazon wishlist is not for me. I am not a doctor. But I’m down to dress as one for you if you’re into that. 



“Well, that clears that up I guess.” She thinks. 

For the next ten minutes, Seungwan simply scrolls through the free content on offer from Joy. A few shots of her without clothes but covering her body up with her hands or a sheet, all of which look professionally done which is surprising. She’s captivated and drawn in by this girl a lot quicker than she thought she would be, she can see why Joohyun would recommend such a thing to her now. The possibilities are endless and there are no strings attached. It’s an ideal situation for both parties. 

Despite making the promise to herself, she’s quick to subscribe to Joy’s feed but ignores the large “upgrade to VIP” logo that’s glistening in gold below the payment button. It would seem strange or suspicious surely to her if someone new to her profile was suddenly paying for the premium option Seungwan tries to logic with herself. 

A few seconds pass as the page reloads itself before finally Joy’s profile is unlocked for Seungwan’s eyes to devour. The same type of photos as previously, however, without anything covering herself up. The same natural reaction to jam her thighs together that she felt earlier with Joohyun ends up happening again except this time she positions her hand under the waistband of her bed shorts. 

The further she explores everything Joy has posted the more the need to be touched becomes overwhelming Before she knows it her fingers are gently caressing her soft skin slowly yet with desperation. Many of the images have comments from other people praising the effortless beauty that Joy manages to convey with ease. Seungwan thinks that Joy must be someone with great confidence to display herself so openly like this. She wishes she too were able to picture herself in the way that Joy likely does. 

Her body aches for some release but once more she’s not able to reach the peak as the page of images suddenly comes to an end. Once more, the gold button for premium appears and tells Seungwan she’s reached the limit of what she can see. A blurring effect does a good job of hiding what follows next, however, what it doesn’t do is stop her from being enticed further when she spots that Joy has also uploaded videos of herself, they are simply hidden from those on the basic subscription as her. 

Almost sub-consciously she finds herself going against every warning sign inside of her mind telling her that paying to watch Joy rather than just look at her is a bad decision, one she will definitely come to regret or become too attached to doing, and yet, it’s too late once she’s confirmed the upgrade and clicked onto the first video that appears. 

White background, likely a wall in her home, Seungwan thinks, until finally the girl steps into the frame with yet another smirk on her lips. 

“Hello, welcome to premium. Thank you for subscribing. I hope you enjoy all of the videos and pictures that only a select few of you will ever get to see. If you’re feeling even more generous please be sure to check out my wishlist. Now, let’s have fun together.” 

Her voice is silky smooth, Seungwan thinks. She replays the simple video a few times just to hear her make this decision sound like she’s part of an exclusive club where only she is invited, though, she’s aware that isn’t true at all. Joy likely has a ton of people paying to see the most intimate parts of her. The comments on this simple welcoming video are at 59 which means at least that many people have also fallen into the trap, though if Joy is the prize, Seungwan wonders if be tricked into paying extra like this is worth it in the end. 

She decides to read through some of them just to get a sense of how people communicate with her here. 

**ksgeees** says: _can’t wait for you to send me my video Joy😏_

 **canudoit2609** says: _so hot🔥_

 **r4bb1tfr13nd** says: _damn i should have subbed earlier🥵🥵🥵_

 **speedzoom0408** says: _YOU CAN HAVE ALL MY MONEY_

 **HYUNSKY** says: _most beautiful girl ever_

Strangely, the latter comment is the only one Joy has bothered to give a reply to. 

**xNotYourJoyx** says: _**@HYUNSKY** wow, thank you😳_

The compliment is definitely correct and deserving of a reply, yet, Seungwan wishes she were the one to tell Joy such things and have her respond solely to her. Jealousy is a green-eyed monster and though she probably shouldn’t be feeling it toward a complete stranger, she does. The sound of the keys as she types out her own comment with her free hand that hasn’t been teasing herself is the only thing she can hear now. Not even the wind outside is able to pierce her eardrums and break her from this spell that Joy has put her under. 

**Wannie2102** says: _you are so perfect, Joy._

It’s simple and Seungwan hates it, but she simply must tell this girl something, anything, in hopes that she sees it and feels happy to be complimented. 

Silence now, nothing but the screen before her for light inside the cold bedroom. The list of videos, 71 in total, tempting Seungwan, taunting almost. Her left hand numb now from just resting against her own body whilst her right-hand clicks onto the next one in the list after the welcoming video. 

The same white background, however, Joy is positioned in the video as soon as it starts this time. Laying down on a black crushed velvet sofa in only her underwear. Her right hand gently caressing her breasts as she grunts out a few low moans. Her left hand in a similar position to where Seungwan is resting her own. The tired and slow circles in which she moves her hand causes her eyes to roll into the back of her head as Seungwan changes her own pace to match that of Joy’s on the screen. 

Her bed creaks with every movement of Joy’s that she mimics, the headboard bashing against the wall behind her whenever Joy quickens her pace and then sounds like a light drumming whenever she slows. The neighbor next door has definitely been awakened by the rhythmic sound of Seungwan rocking her body against her fingers. 

“You’re enjoying this, huh?” The words surprise Seungwan out of her reverie as it’s as if Joy is present and asking her specifically and knowing that she too is pleasuring herself as she is doing. Without even thinking she manages to gasp out a yes in reply that only she can hear, yet gains a response from Joy almost like she can magically hear her. “I wish I could watch you touch yourself to me.” she pauses to lowly moan. “For me.” 

The pressure rises between her thighs once more except this time her body allows her to release every bit of tension she’s had to keep trying to get rid of for weeks. Her entire body collapses against itself as she indulges herself in what she’s convinced is the longest orgasm to ever exist. Her legs shaking wildly as her arm tenses up and flex to make sure she feels every bit of her undoing. The sound of Joy finishing up her own continues to play in the background for further motivation but the deed has already been done. 

She rests momentarily, staring up at the ceiling as gentle pants fill the room both from herself and the laptop. Nothing else in the world matters at this very moment. However, once more Joy manages to surprise Seungwan with her telepathic way of just knowing somehow when to speak to her viewer. 

“Thank you for that, I hope you come back soon for more.” and then the video ends. 

A dark screen replacing the beautiful image of Joy just as spent as Seungwan feels. But, now she’s left to think about everything that has just transpired between herself, the screen and a girl she doesn’t even know. Guilt wells up in her chest and she slams the screen shut almost shattering the glass. “Why did you do this?” is the only thing that repeats inside of her mind. No longer focused on the pulsating feeling against her hand as she pulls it out of her shorts too fast and whips herself with the waistband which will no doubt sting in the morning.

Her legs shakily drag her body to the bathroom almost tripping over various clothes that have sat there waiting to be cleaned for way too long now. She turns on the shower for the second time tonight and steps into it, almost falling immediately. The cold water shocks her body into feeling something other than the after-effects of pleasuring herself. Scrubbing every inch of her body intensely and repeating inside of her mind that she’ll cancel the subscription tomorrow and never do anything like this ever again. She can’t. Joy is a stranger and she shouldn’t be doing these things.

By the time she’s finished almost burning her skin with the washcloth to make sure she’s rid herself of her sins and changing her fair skin to a reddish shade, the clock on the bedside table shows that there are only three hours before she’s due to wake up for work. The bed seems tainted now, so she grabs the blanket and sleeps on the sofa that is far less comfortable. 

Joohyun is definitely going to ask her about whether or not she used the site, definitely going to notice the dark circles under her eyes from the lack of sleep and will definitely draw up her own conclusion anyway no matter what her answer is. She tries her best not to think about any of this but there’s just a constant loop of the images of Joy, the sound of her voice, and the way she encouraged Seungwan to feel again. 

She dreams of dark hair and brown eyes that night and moans that could be the most heavenly sound in the world or a new addiction that Seungwan isn’t ready for but may not have a choice but to indulge in it. 


	2. Ch. II

As expected, Joohyun is waiting outside of the office building bright and early the next morning. Her arms folded across her chest, creasing her black suit jacket and causing her spotless white shirt to bunch up around the collar. Her expression unreadable as she stares out into space, a cigarette resting between her left pointer and middle finger, the ash hanging off the end of it shows she hasn’t taken a drag from it in some time. Despite her pristine appearance, something must be going wrong, or she wouldn’t be smoking since she supposedly gave up six months ago. 

Hopefully, whatever is bothering Joohyun means she’ll have forgotten all about the note with the web address written on it. However, those hopes shatter the second Seungwan comes into Joohyun’s peripheral vision as she rushes over with purpose, discarding the cigarette behind her, not as secretively as she thinks. 

“Well, you certainly have a bit more of a glow about you Wannie. Does that mean you, you know…” She points downward, and Seungwan is sure her face has just turned bright purple from merely the insinuation that she had managed to finally after months of being unable to release all of her tension. 

Flashes of Joy spark up inside of her head. Her body. The gentle moans. The alluring eyes that Seungwan is sure even the devil himself would fall for. It’s not hard to see why she did descend the rabbit hole that is Joy, but it’s an adventure she’d rather forget now and not rehash right outside of work with various colleagues walking past them both and filing into the building one after another.

“Hello? Are you okay?” Joohyun clicks her fingers around Seungwan’s face several times before she snaps out of her recollection of the night before. “Damn, you must have been fucking deprived.” She lets out a chuckle covering her mouth as she does so, likely to hide the cigarette breath.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” 

They both turn back toward the office building and step inside the heavy glass doors slowly walking to the upstairs office, Seungwan picks up her pace to evade any further questions, but once again, luck is not on her side as Joohyun’s strides quicken too. 

“You’re certainly thinking about it, what’s the harm in telling me about it?” Joohyun asks once they finally reach the room full of different computer stations, a few other colleagues who entered before them already seated and busy. The lack of conversation between stations unusual, filling the atmosphere around them with dread and worry.

“We’re at work now it isn't appropriate.” Whilst this is true, Seungwan knows she’s just pulling any excuse out of her hat now since everyone within the office has at some point or another discussed how their lives outside of the office walls are just as dull as it is within them. Well, all except Joohyun who now that Seungwan thinks about it, hasn’t revealed much of substance about what it is she does once she’s off the clock. 

“Fine, be like that,” Joohyun says flatly as she heads towards her desk, she stops midway there to holler something back. “Oh, just so you know, one of the investments fell through this morning. You’re about to be told to clean it up.” She points toward the door they had both just stepped through moments before where her boss is currently entering with a face like thunder. 

Great. This is just what I need, she thinks. 

It takes seven hours. Seven hours of back and forth negotiations, promises of more financial backing and a hefty advertisement campaign that is far more expensive than their original budget had planned for, but she finally clears up any misunderstandings and issues the client had. Not that those seven hours receive any form of praise or appreciation. Her boss merely gives her a quick nod of the head and that is the only acknowledgment her efforts are offered. 

For those seven hours, not a single thought of long legs and brown eyes had managed to burst into her mind as a distraction, but the second the telephone meeting concludes and she’s left to simply wait for the next task to pop up in front of her on the computer monitor in front of her, Joy infiltrates her head once more. 

It’s no wonder that people can become addicted to such a thing, only one peek into the site, one subscription, one girl and Seungwan swears she’s losing her mind. She determines that this is exactly why she can’t ever use it again, who knows how far she would end up falling? It certainly isn’t healthy to offer up such a personal experience such as sex to merely a figure on her screen that she doesn’t even know. A figure who doesn’t even know she exists to make matters worse.

“Did you fix it?” Joohyun asks, appearing from seemingly nowhere behind the station wall and startling Seungwan out of her thoughts. She composes herself before Joohyun can pick up on her mind wandering for the second time already today, or so she believes.

“What do you think?” Seungwan responds, quirking her eyebrows upward, grin replacing the thin line her lips had been resting in, mouth dry as she speaks. 

“Confidence, Wannie. I like it, it suits you,” Joohyun steps from around the wall to sit on the edge of the cluttered desk, her body resting against some of the paperwork almost knocking some of it off. “Come on, let’s go grab a coffee from downstairs, you look like you could do with a break.” She extends her hand out and Seungwan reluctantly grasps it. 

The coffee in the office cafeteria is always a surprise, but Joohyun loves it for some reason always trying to drag along anyone who will join her. The stronger the better she always says which makes no sense since it tastes like something you’d find at the bottom of a sewer but she still practically chugs it down with ease. It’s been a while since Seungwan hasn't drunk any after someone spilled salt into the water section without bothering to tell anyone. However, it’s not too bad today which is a relief. 

“Are you going to tell me now?” Joohyun asks tentatively. She folds her arms across her chest, in the same manner, she had this morning, however, Seungwan takes notice to the part of her neckline which is now exposed. “Hey, eyes up here.” 

“I wasn’t… I don’t… no…” Before she can embarrass herself any further stumbling over her words, Joohyun interjects. 

“Give it up, Wannie. I’m not blind.” She chuckles, airy, and without conviction. “I’m flattered, truly. But we’re colleagues, it would be weird, right?” 

Seungwan would be lying to say that she hadn’t given it some thought before. Hell, even just the day before Joohyun had managed to make her body naturally react to her from simply eating ice cream. However, there’s a resounding “no, it wouldn’t be weird” pulsating through her head currently, compared to any other time this idea had sprung to mind where the answer was a resounding and absolute no. 

“No.”

“I’m fucking with you Wannie,” 

They speak at the exact same time leaving Joohyun to stare at every part of Seungwan’s face seeking clarity and honesty in her answer. Seungwan drops her head down to look at her hands in her lap, never looking back up or returning eye contact with Joohyun for the remainder of their quiet coffee break. It takes her twenty minutes to realize that Joohyun had long since returned back to work and left her to sit there alone.

Returning to her station, she still does not bother to even glance in Joohyun’s direction, though she can see that she is seated and typing away contently from the corner of her eye. 

“Why on earth did you answer you, idiot?” Seungwan mutters under her breath as she sits down to her desk. 

For the remaining three hours of work, there’s very little done that could make her boss happy. Instead, Seungwan spends a great portion of it mentally scolding herself, wondering how the hell she’s going to make things up to Joohyun and watching the tiny clock in the corner of her screen change numbers. People have already begun to pack up their things to leave before she realizes the day is over and done with. However, once again, Joohyun appears from out of nowhere. 

“Come on, let’s go.” is all she offers Seungwan before walking out of the office doors. 

Quickly grabbing her back and the coat she had placed onto the back of her chair, she scurries to follow Joohyun down the long winding steps they had ascended together this morning. When she eventually catches up to her, Joohyun is already pulling out a cigarette from the box she had stashed inside of her bag, no longer bothering to hide that her habit had returned. She pushes the box toward Seungwan offering her a turn at engaging in the vice too, however, a simple shake of the head sees it stored away inside of the bag again. 

“I’m going to quit again, I just needed them today.” 

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me, Joohyun.” 

Joohyun simply purses her lips around the unlit cigarette and hums softly. The fluorescent red flame attracts Seungwan’s attention away from her colleagues getting into various vehicles or walking away from the building. She watches as Joohyun takes one long drag, closing her eyes as she inhales and releases the smoke from her mouth. 

“I’m sorry about earlier, I don’t know what I was thinking.” Joohyun doesn’t move or open her eyes still as Seungwan continues to apologize. “I just… I don’t know. Maybe my head is all messed up from using that site.” 

“So you did use it?” The pair simply stare at each other for a few seconds before looking away. “Did you, um… you know..” 

“Yes, but I wish I didn’t.” Joohyun doesn’t offer Seungwan a response, instead, making eye contact once more and encouraging her to continue. “I don’t know who these people are, you know? It felt strange. It was like I was using her and I didn’t like that.” 

“The people who use that site to sell those images and videos are doing on their own volition, nobody is forcing them to do it.” 

“You don’t know that for sure.” The two of them pause at the realization that actually, Seungwan makes a great point. “I don’t want to do it again, I felt so guilty afterward.” 

The cigarette in Joohyun’s hand once more has long since burned down too far for her to continue using it, ash falling from the end to the ground. Neither of them speaks for a few moments until a red car pulls up into the parking lot cutting off the engine and horn signaling its presence. Joohyun twists to look in the direction of it and quickly drops the cigarette to the floor, yet again not so secretively.

“Shit. That’s my ride, do you need a lift back to your place?” 

“Sure, thanks.” 

Slowly walking toward the car, a fairly new model with not a scratch on it, Seungwan can just say make out someone in the front seat, hair visible but nothing else as they look out of the window facing away from them. 

As Joohyun reaches across to open the front passenger seat, Seungwan wants her to slam it back shut and run as far away as possible as she’s greeted with the very same sight that she had watched on her screen the night before. The same face that also owns the long legs, soft moans, and alluring dark eyes she had become momentarily addicted to. 

Joy. In the flesh, right before her, and she knows Joohyun somehow, well enough to be picking her up from work too. She’s real and she’s here. Why is she here? All of Seungwan’s thoughts mash against one another inside of her head threatening to spill out of her mouth if she doesn’t leave immediately. 

“Are you getting in?” Joy asks her. Her voice is different from the soft and breathy one she had listened to tell her how to release all of her tension last night. It’s rough and without a single ounce of care at all. 

Seungwan turns her body quickly away from the car, away from Joohyun and more importantly, away from Joy. Her feet bashing off the pavement as she sprints out of the parking lot and doesn’t stop running until she reaches home.


	3. Chapter 3

Sooyoung watches from inside of the car as Joohyun attempts to chase down her friend. Whoever the girl is, she has some speed to her, Sooyoung thinks. Her legs seem to take on a life of their own as she hurries down the road. Even if Joohyun were in perfect shape, she doubts she could match the girls’ pace. Joohyun makes it half-way down the road before she realizes that there’s no catching up to her friend. Dragging herself back to the car, her breathing is hitched, and her hair-line is glistening with sweat. She guzzles down an entire bottle of water in one go easily. 

Without noticing, Sooyoung keeps her eyes trained on Joohyun. The way that her neck moves when she swallows, or how her chest heaves from the light marathon. It’s easy to forget how enticing Joohyun can be from the smallest action, but Sooyoung appreciates the reminders. However, no one can look at her for too long. Whether they like it or not, they will end up under her spell. 

“Who was that then? Why was she running?” Sooyoung decides to ask before she has stared for too long. However, Joohyun is too occupied with wiping away the few droplets of water running down her chin. Sooyoung watches her in awe. “Here, let me get it for you.” She mumbles. Reaching across to brush her hand against the smooth skin below Joohyun’s mouth. It feels exactly like the last time her lips brushed against the same spot. 

For a moment, it feels normal to touch Joohyun, and it feels normal to be touched by Sooyoung with her gentle fingers. It has been several years since either of them have felt this way about one another, though the feeling is brief for both of them. 

The early days of their relationship include many of Joohyun’s favorite memories. The date-nights they would share and somehow Sooyoung would make her heart swell. The lazy days where they would binge-watch several movies, though, they were never the main focus after ten minutes in. It was a fairytale, for the most part. But, nothing lasts forever. The Sooyoung who sits across from Joohyun now is no longer the person she fell in love with. She mourns momentarily for their past, for Sooyoung of then, but pushes her hand away from her chin a little too forcefully. 

“Keep your hands to yourself,” Joohyun states coldly. Adjusting in her seat to make sure she doesn’t make eye contact as she speaks. “Seungwan. I don’t know why she ran… I feel I should be asking you that.” 

“Why should you be asking me that? She’s your… friend?” Sooyoung’s voice raises in infliction, trying desperately but failing to hide her curiosity. When Joohyun doesn’t answer, she forgets subtlety entirely. “She likes you, doesn’t she?” She asks, raising her eyebrows in an attempt to be flirtatious. Joohyun hates it and always has done, finding it obnoxious instead. 

“It’s not like that. We work together, that’s all. Not that it has anything to do with you.” Joohyun lies, unconvincingly. Sooyoung decides not to question her further on it. “Are we just going to sit here all day? If we don’t get going soon, your mother will be three sheets to the wind before we get there.” 

“Whatever you say, love.” Sooyoung drawls. The fake endearment burning on the end of her tongue stings Joohyun’s ears. “Your dress is in the back seat. I chose it myself, so… I hope you like it.” 

Finally pulling away from the office, Joohyun reaches into the backseat to retrieve her outfit for this evening. A white box with a designer label that she’s never heard of emblazoned across it in bold, black lettering. It already looks to be far more expensive than Joohyun could ever dream of affording. though, that doesn’t come as a surprise. Fashion has never been much of an interest to her, but Sooyoung is enamored by it. Whatever the latest trends are, she’s aware of them. Whichever designer is making waves in the industry, Sooyoung makes sure she has at least three of their pieces. It’s one of the few habits she shares with her mother. 

A black, strapless dress. There’s nothing remarkable about it to Joohyun’s untrained eye, well, besides the price-tag which Sooyoung has forgotten to remove. The expense does not matter to Joohyun, frankly. She will only see this dress for this evening, after all. Once they’re back into the car later on this evening, it will be placed back into the box and placed in Sooyoung’s dresser, never to be seen again. 

Joohyun quickly removes her suit jacket and shirt, places the dress over her head, pulling it down to cover her legs before removing her pants too. Without checking, she can feel Sooyoung’s eyes on her while she changes clothing. She can feel them piercing every part of her body, burning a trail across her skin. 

“Stop looking at me.” is all Joohyun has to say to stop Sooyoung from staring or letting her eyes wander for too long, and they crash into a wall. 

As the car drives past various streets, Joohyun hopes they will pass by Seungwan. She needs to know why she decided to run away like that. If she finds out that Sooyoung said anything to her, she internally swears to never speak to Sooyoung again. But, she also hopes that she has made it home safely by now. Her thumbs rapidly type out a few text messages, deleting several expletives. A calm approach is probably best. A confrontation won’t get either of them anywhere and only lead to Joohyun’s worries being ignored. 

When there’s no immediate reply, she presses play on the radio. Hoping for another distraction from Sooyoung, a catchy, upbeat song begins to play softly throughout the car. Sooyoung shifts to turn it up louder, smirking as she does so, knowing how much Joohyun hates loud music. Joohyun’s attention is drawn back to her ex-girlfriend and her abundance of confidence she has gained since their last meeting. There’s something different about her. Something has changed. Though, Joohyun isn’t sure what exactly it is that has changed. 

Her skin is still as radiant, clear, and beautiful as ever. Her hair is long, full of life, and she’s styled it the same way she always has done. Her plump lips are a light shade of red, the same lipstick she always uses. Eyes… they have always been a weak spot for Joohyun. The brown orbs are currently reflecting the sunlight in them, and Joohyun swears they are the most beautiful sight she has ever seen. It must be the confidence, but it is sickening just how good she looks too. 

It doesn’t help that their last encounter was so full of anger, hurt, and pain. The break-up of their relationship had been on the cards for some time, neither of them willing to admit it to one another. However, petty argument after petty argument led to a fight that they couldn’t return from. 

“Why are you staring at me like that?” Sooyoung asks, fingers tapping along to the song on the steering wheel. 

Truthfully, Joohyun hadn’t even realized she had begun to stare at her, but she looks away immediately. 

“I wasn’t staring at you.” Joohyun lies, again, unconvincingly. Sooyoung’s lips curve upward into a smirk. “Stop doing that.” 

“Doing what exactly?” Sooyoung continues to smirk, letting her eyes meet Joohyun’s briefly this time. 

Joohyun heaves a deep sigh. It is exhausting going around in circles with Sooyoung and only reminds her why they split up in the first place. 

“You’re trying to flirt with me, don’t do that.” 

Sooyoung chuckles lightly. One of her hands leaves the steering wheel and finds it’s way to Joohyun’s exposed thigh, the dress not quite covering them completely. Joohyun’s entire body flinches at the touch. She isn’t sure whether it’s because her hand is cold or because of who it belongs to. Either way, it’s uncomfortable. 

“If I wanted to flirt with you, ‘Hyun, I would do far more than just smirk at you.” Her chuckling stops, and her voice becomes sterner than previous. “Or have you forgotten? It’s been a while now. I wouldn’t blame you if you had.” 

“I haven’t forgotten. I just preferred it when you were nervous when it comes to this stuff.” Every part of Joohyun is screaming for her to remove Sooyoung’s hand from her leg. However, she watches instead as her thumb draws small circles on her skin. It’s intimate and soft, too much so. 

“This dress looks good on you. Though, I would prefer you out of it.” Sooyoung says in a low voice. 

Her hand slowly begins to rise higher up Joohyun’s thigh and moves between her legs. The same thumb drawing circles on her leg finds it’s way hovering over Joohyun’s underwear. She presses her fingers against her briefly which receives a deep groan. Just as quickly as she had positioned her fingers on Joohyun’s center, she retracts them from beneath her dress. 

“I still have some effect on you, I see.” 

An uncomfortable silence takes hold of them both as Joohyun tries her best to catch her breath. She hates how right Sooyoung is right now. As much as she no longer wishes to be with her, she can’t deny there’s a strong attraction between them both. Joohyun once more shifts to look out of the window. Her thoughts jumbled up inside of her head. Worry, excitement, and confusion all swirl around her head at once. 

A quick reminder of Seungwan breaks through all of them. Seungwan who, despite heavy competition from Sooyoung, refuses to leave her mind. Things had been fine after their awkward conversation about attraction to one another. So, what is her problem? Does she think that she and Sooyoung are an item? Did she get scared when she saw her? Joohyun can’t wrap her mind around it. She tries calling her several times while Sooyoung finally focuses on driving them to the restaurant. However, she doesn’t pick up, nor does she reply to her texts.

* * *

Bursting through the doors to her apartment, Seungwan hurries toward the bathroom. Her insides churning the second she began running until now. Breathing unsteady, she heaves a few deep sighs hunched over before collapsing to the floor. Nausea rises whenever she thinks of Joy. The very same Joy she had spent money on to get herself to a quick orgasm merely meters away. The very same Joy in front of her in person, and with Joohyun for some reason. An endless stream of questions, as well as reminders of Joy and her videos, pound inside of her head. The pain is unbearable and inescapable. 

How are they, friends? Why is she outside of their workplace? Why is she nothing at all like the person that was on her laptop screen? Her voice is cold, lifeless, and not enticing like it is in the videos. She is… normal. A regular everyday person that you could pass on any given street, except she’s friends with her colleague, the woman she’s been attracted to from the moment they met. 

Seungwan crawls to the bathroom, not attempting to stand up out of fear of collapsing again. Once inside, she throws her clothes into the corner of the room and pulls herself up by the sink. Her legs stumble toward the shower, and she steps inside of it, turning it on. Burning hot water fires out of it, but she doesn’t flinch, letting the water soak and redden her skin. She tries desperately to scrub the day away, almost breaking her skin in the process. It’s almost an hour and a half later when she finally steps back out. 

Her phone rests upward on top of the clothing she launched off her body. The screen lights up with several notifications, and Seungwan hesitantly retrieves it. It vibrates in her hand as she picks it up with yet another text from Joohyun. There are 54 unread messages in total and 16 missed calls. She sits herself down onto the side of the bath and scrolls through them all. 

_ Where did you go? _

_ Are you okay? _

_ Why did you run away Seungwan?  _

_ Did she say something to you? _

_ I’m so sorry Wannie. I can explain. Please, text me back.  _

_ I’m getting worried now, please. _

_ I need to know if you’re okay, Wan.  _

_ ARE YOU OKAY?! _

Guilt replaces nausea in her chest. The last thing she wanted to do was make Joohyun worry about her. Yet, each of her text messages become even more desperate the further she scrolls down them. Her fingers hover over the keyboard. But, they refused to type out a response. Joohyun seems none the wiser on why she ran, which means she probably doesn’t know about Joy’s line of work. Therefore, her running away like that looks insane and needs an excuse desperately. 

_ Hey, I’m okay. I just didn’t want to interrupt you and your friend.  _

_ Plus, I’ve been meaning to take up running anyway.  _

_ This just gave me a clear reason to do so.  _

_ Please, don’t worry about me, Joohyun. Enjoy your evening.  _

The send button is intimidatingly close to her thumb. Closing her eyes, she presses down with a deep sigh. Walking back into her bedroom, she throws herself down onto the bed, wraps her body in the duvet, and refuses to move for the rest of the evening. Her phone discarded somewhere within the bed, and as far as she's concerned, it can stay there. 

* * *

Chandeliers hang from every part of the ceiling, the entire room beneath them sparkles brightly. The gold and white design is surprisingly tacky, but Joohyun knows this restaurant is high-end and the most expensive she’s ever step foot in by far. Though, every single one of them makes her feel about two feet tall. Even when they were in a relationship, Joohyun hated going to dinner with Sooyoung’s parents. 

The occasion was always big with them, even when it wasn’t at all. The higher the price of the food they scoff down their throats, the better. Half of the names on the menu, Joohyun had never even heard of, and there were several instances she made the “mistake” of mispronouncing a french delicacy, or obscure meal from a country, she didn’t know existed. Sooyoung always got a small laugh out of it, but her parents would be silently judgemental. 

Her father is set in his ways, and those are several decades out of date. He’s insufferable, vulgar, and Joohyun has never been able to understand both what Sooyoung’s mother sees in him nor why she stays. His extramarital affairs are not exactly a well-hidden secret. A new model on his arm every single week. Sometimes, he would even cart one of his fancy women along to these dinners, as if that’s normal. He attempted to flirt with Joohyun the first time they met, not realizing she was in a relationship with his daughter. Sooyoung quickly put him in his place, though. 

Her mother is no better, however. She possesses the most lethal tongue on the planet, and her target is always her daughter. There have been plenty of occasions where she has let the world know that Sooyoung is a disappointment to her. Whether it be her sexuality, not wanting to continue the family line with children, or refusing to be involved in her father’s business. Sooyoung has rebelled since day one, and her mother hates it. Her ego is astronomical for a woman who relies heavily on wine to get her through the day, and she is maniacal in her attempts to control everyone around her. Seemingly, the only exception is her husband. 

Right as they are about to enter the main dining area where Sooyoung’s arents are likely waiting impatiently she stops, and tugs on Joohyun’s wrist softly. 

“I… I forgot to tell you something. Please don’t be mad at me.” 

Her hands slowly slide into her handbag and return with a small box. She trembles, though, quickly tries to hide it before she hands it over to Joohyun, who hesitantly opens it. There’s a modest diamond ring placed in the center of the box. It looks old, yet expensive. The platinum band has an inscription on it in Latin with a small heart at the end. 

“It’s my grandmother’s engagement ring. I may have told them, accidentally, that I was going to propose to you Christmas just gone. Do you mind?” 

However, Joohyun doesn’t answer. Her eyes remain glued to the ring as her mouth hangs agape. Sooyoung takes the box back, takes out the ring, and slowly places it onto Joohyun’s finger. Their eyes quickly lock with one another, and Sooyoung offers a reassuring smile. Taking a firm grasp of her hand, she offers it a quick kiss before intertwining their fingers together and entering the dining area. 

“ _ Breathe in. Breathe out. Smile _ .” Joohyun repeats the mantra inside of her head while her hand loosely remains in Sooyoung’s own. “ _ Be polite. Let Sooyoung do the talking. _ ” 

As they get closer to the table, Sooyoung’s mother downs her flute of champagne in one go. She appears to have already drunk several now, which isn’t a surprise. But, her father is as sober as a judge, which makes a change. Both of them tend to enjoy their alcohol a little too much. Her mother offers a glance and her lips remain straight. Her father, however, lets his eyes wander across every inch of Joohyun, including her hands, and he spots the ring but doesn’t say a word. The atmosphere seems hostile. They have probably just finished up round ten of an argument about either money or the many affairs. 

“Mother… Father.” Sooyoung speaks, barely audible in such a huge room. Joohyun can feel the nerves radiating from her and offers her hand a gentle squeeze. Sooyoung smiles in return, grateful for the encouragement. “I wish to tell you both that Joohyun has agreed to become my wife. We are going to be married.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> @twiceblackvelvet on tumblr.


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